A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

New Stamps Keep Mailmen Happy

Remember a few years ago when the hot topic was disgruntled postal workers going on shooting sprees?

Well, looks like they’ve come up with a new way to keep the mailmen happy:

This, my friends, is a page of stamps I bought the other day at my local post office. Apparently it is the Year of the Rabbit! I’m not really sure what the Chinese Lunar New Year has to do with two very rotund kumquats hanging just so, but clearly it does or this perky image would not be immortalized on the newest Forever Stamps.

Is it just me, or do those kumquats look an awful lot like a nice pair of sweater puppets?

No? Don’t see it?

How about now:

Ahhh, fun with Photoshop. Don’t worry, Postmaster General, no actual stamps were harmed in this process.

I think the concept is pretty brilliant, really. Naturally, if the mailmen are thinking about boobies, they’ll be too happy to shoot anyone.

My sweet husband, The Gatekeeper, would like you to know that he does not think these kumquats look anything at all like breasts. Poor thing. He probably thinks they are supposed to look more like this:

Shhhh. Nobody tell him, okay?


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.


  1. Bubbles...

    I am failing to see the double d boulders that would break the back of any “puppeteer” (bra)…However, the peppers are no doubt a set of “Magdhas” Florida ripened banana boobs…Bingo anyone?

    • The Bearded Iris

      Oh Bubbles, you never cease to make me laugh. And those Magdhas are Japanese eggplants, honey. Get your elongated wrinkled produce straight, would ya?

  2. Joanne

    you are just tooooo much!

  3. MikeP

    Sweater puppets you say?

    Looks more like pairs of trouser plums. You know; Jacobs (cockney rhyming slang; cream crackers/knackers). Family jewels. Clock Weights. Bollocks.

    Maybe it’s a Jane Russell tribute…

    • The Bearded Iris

      Oh my gravy, Mike. That is exactly what The Gatekeeper and my brother said. Boys see the balls. Girls see the girls? Come on ladies… who is with me? Do those look like girl parts or boy parts?

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