A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Welcome to my new home!

YAY! You found me!

You deserve a treat!


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The other day I emailed one of my blogging peers who was relatively new on the scene to ask how in the world she had her own domain on the World Wide Web. That’s huge! Like Pioneer Woman huge. I was in awe.

She said something like, “Oh, my husband’s an IT guy.”

Lucky bitch, said I.

My husband’s not an IT guy. Unless “IT” stands for Italian Thorobred, then yeah, I guess he is. But long story short, the closest thing I have to an in-house IT professional is my 11 year old son, Nature Boy, who does all my photo editing and video recording.

I actually have owned my own domain for about three years, but just never figured out what to do next to “self-host” my blog and subsequently “be the master of my own domain.” That’s like buying a car and never learning to drive. Dumb.

But lo and behold, about two weeks ago an incredible thing happened. The very same day Ike had the run in with “she who must not be named,” my new blogging friend with the IT love-slave offered to share her man with me, and get this… fo’ free.

So now I too have an IT guy, fiddle-lee-dee!

And he is awesome. AWESOME, I tells ya.

He has dedicated countless hours at this point to help me transfer my shiz and set up my own domain, email, and blogity things like widgets and spam filters. He even taught me how to backup my stuff, which I had not been doing before (yikes!).

And the patience required to work with a technotard like me? This guy is a Saint. I’m telling you, I literally ask questions like “What does this thingy do?” and “Can I change my domain to www.pullmyfinger.com?”

So special heartfelt thanks to my new brilliant IT guy and his generous wife for temporarily sharing him with me. The Universe and I never forget a random act of kindness.

Watch closely… this next part is important!

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Why subscribe? Well I’ll tell you. If you are a subscriber, you and you alone will get to see the FIRST version of my newly published posts, in your very own email. This is special because most days after I hit the “publish” button, my conscious (or husband) kicks in and I quickly develop a severe case of writer’s remorse. I then typically go back and remove several colorful words, phrases, sometimes even paragraphs, and republish a more sanitized version of that post. Subscribers don’t receive the updated post in email, just the first, often more racy, edition. Just a special perk, from me to you. So please subscribe if you want the behind-the-scenes tour of a twisted, no-impulse-control, mind at work.

Thank you for being here! Until we meet again…


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.


  1. Allysgrandma

    I’m first!!! I will have to think of an appropriate prize for myself….mmm….I’m kind of thinking the Italian Thoroughbred might be just the thing!!

  2. Allysgrandma

    Oops did I really just say that??

    • The Bearded Iris

      Yes you did, and that is why I love you so! But back off, the Italian Stallion is mine, all mine. You have your own hairy-assed love slave.

  3. mrs.frisbie

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!! How very cool. I, too, am married to an Italian Thorobread, who also happens to be rather IT-ish, while I am a “technotard” (thank you for such amusing vocabulary, I often pee my pants laughing when I get your posts).

    • The Bearded Iris

      Love that! Three cheers for fellow technotards with “IT” husbands.

      And thanks for the idea to include some Poise Undergarments in my non existent “Welcome Wagon” gift baskets!

  4. Julie

    SO jealous. How many years have you been blogging? (Just, so, you know, I can tell myself I don’t need to do this ’cause I just started.)

    • The Bearded Iris

      Yes, be jealous, be very jealous. Because I’m so smart and successful that it only took me three effing years to figure out how to go from point A to point B in the blogosphere. Seriously. Bought my domain three years ago and have been sitting on it ever since waiting for someone to recognize my ENORMOUS potential (and/or take pity on me).

      I did take a very sizable mental-health related hiatus from spring ’09 (right after I was attacked by a snapping turtle and was waiting for my typing skills to return) to Jan. ’11. Not lying. Someday I’ll write about… after the PTSD symptoms subside.

  5. Heddy

    You are so funny… this is awesome! Congrats on the new site! I did a little jig myself when I got my own domain. I just found you a couple days ago, but now I find myself checking your site as soon as I get into work .. why would I work when I get to work? Come on now..

    • The Bearded Iris

      Oh Heddy, you smart cookie. Of course my Mommy Smut would take precedence over any actual work. Glad you found me, and then actually came back for more! What are the odds?!

  6. Megan

    Back it up now… In what way are we sharing him?

  7. Megan


  8. laura lee

    I keep thinking of that moment in Steal Magnolias where Truvy (Dolly Parton) sees her husband’s bought her a new hair salon and shouts “I’m a chain! I’m a chain!”
    so……… what did you shout?

    • The Bearded Iris

      OMG, one of my favorite movies of all time, don’t you know. “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.”

      I cannot repeat what I shouted due to FCC regulations. But the sanitized version probably sounded and looked a lot like a less cute and coordinated Julie Andrews spinning, arms wide, yodeling “The hills are alive…”

  9. This Mid 30s Life

    Oh crap I’m not the first to comment on your brand new site! Look at you with your fancy shiny new address.

    Nice one. And well done to your friend for sharing her husband. Very considerate.

  10. Rebekah

    Love your new domain and what you’ve done with the place.

  11. Jellyhead

    Movin’ on up, to a dee-lux apartment in the sky-hi. Enjoy your new digs!

  12. Kristen Kotrlik

    Well, Christ on a cracker…. I missed this.

    Congrats on your new move! And having an IT guy at your disposal. I have one too… he works for me and I pay him with sexual favors… or promises of them anyway… I’m pretty sure I owe him a dozen blowjobs… Maybe on our anniversary.

  13. MikeP

    Nice new home. I like what you’ve done with it; furnishings, drapes, taken up the carpets…

    Can I join in? I’ve got an Australian-Sicillian wife (a whole village went East on a boat to get as far away as possible from the ones that were going West). Does that count?

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