A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Hair in my freezer?

I was a very busy girl two weeks ago getting ready for my Pampered Chef party! (Which was very nice, thank you for asking!) In addition to cleaning out my car (like a dumb ass) and my freezer (because what’s a successful kitchen show without a squeaky clean deep freeze?), I also beat my kitchen drawers into submission. Amazing how much you can get done when your dog’s in the hoosegow and you’re in a flat-out panic about having people over!

So since I did three projects in one week (take THAT To-Do List!), I took a break from organizing this week and spent as much time as possible getting Ike readjusted to life on the outside. We had his invisible fence relocated so that he can’t be in the front yard anymore (without me). He’s having a hard time getting used to the change and doesn’t want to be anywhere but by my side, which is just fine by me. Sure did miss him. Did not, however, miss having to use the Dome of Doggie Despair everytime I turn my back. Some things never change.

Okay, enough chit chat. I know you want to see some nasty before pics and shiny after pics, don’t you?

Let’s start with the freezer.


…a friggin’ mess. Every time I opened it I was sure something would fall out and break a toe. Want to know a dirty little secret? We’ve lived here 8 years, and I don’t think I’ve ever really cleaned this puppy out even one time in all those years. Oh, the shame!

So I unloaded that bad boy…

And wiped that sucker down. Naturally I used my new Shaklee Basic H2 All-Purpose Spray… it’s organic and safe and not smelly. Here’s some more info about it. It rocks. Get some.

So the two most disturbing/entertaining things I found in my freezer are this:

… some nasty old freezer-burned broccoli stems. Seriously? Did I really think I would make soup or something with those? Why do I save things like this? I mean really. Here’s an idea… buy less food, have less waste.

And this…

… that’s a snowball. Aren’t my kids brilliant? Nothing more surprising than a snowball attack in the middle of summer. Bless their hearts. It really did snow here in Georgia, a lot, this winter. In fact, we were snowed in for a whole week in January. Not pleasant.

Hmmm, what an atypical scene... Mini-Me giving Frosty a lap dance and the Light of the World shining down on, oh I don't know... who could it be... is the chosen one... my Bucket Head?

But back to the freezer. I tossed a bunch of old stuff and put everything else back in a neat and orderly fashion. Not rocket science. And it didn’t take me very long either. I should do this more often! Maybe then I wouldn’t find dog hair in the bottom of my freezer. Oh Lord, at least I hope that was dog hair. You never know in this house. Did I tell you my husband is Italian? (Very hairy… fine lookin’ as all get out, but the curtains do not match the the rug, if you get my drift.)

"the curtains"

"the rug"









Back off, Cheryl. He’s mine. (Isn’t he a gorgeous hunk of man meat though?)

But again, I digress.

So now my freezer is sparkling clean and not the least bit hairy. Look how I’ve neatly arranged my freezer packs for the kids’ lunch boxes! Obviously, I need to group all the green ones together. My word, what is wrong with me?!

Got meat? I do! And it’s neatly stacked. Look at how my Tilapia is clearly labeled with the date. I’m fabulous.

My favorite part of my newly cleaned freezer? The “V” shelf.

“V” is for veggies and vodka.

Well, look at the time. I guess I’ll have to show you my clean kitchen drawers another day. But thanks for visiting and please stop back again!

As always, I’m linking up to Organizing Junkie. Also for the first time, linking to Organize with Sandy.

your friend,


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.


  1. Anne

    Well done Iris! You have been a busy girl. Give me a hairy man any day over a hairless one. You’re on a winner there! Keep up the good work. xx

  2. Alexandra

    Great job on the freezer! I want a ‘V’ shelf without all those veggies. Fun post, thanks for sharing.

  3. MonicaB

    I just love your post. You always manage to put a smile on my face. Your freezer looks great.

  4. Allysgrandma

    OMGosh I could just scream with laughter even though I went to bed and woke up with a headache. Okay that’s it I have to post a picture of mine who is hairer I bet!

    PS Great job on the freezer!

  5. Megan

    You are a hot mess. Poor Gate Keeper. Our husbands had no idea what they were getting themselves into, did they?

    I’m with Alexandra. Why all the pesky veggies?

  6. Sandy Jenney - Organize with Sandy

    lol.. I was cracking up reading through your post.. but when you got to the hairy husband! omg! lol
    Great job on the freezer. I know.. you’d wonder why we ever need to really clean it out right? I mean really… doesn’t all that freezing air kill everything bad? lol
    Thanks for linking up to my Organizing Mission link party!

  7. Margo

    My kids keep asking me what I’m laughing at!

  8. Mimms

    Okay I *must* know, did you save the snowball???????

    • The Bearded Iris

      OMG, you know me too well. I DID! I saved the snowball!!! I know, I know. It is ridiculous. But they’re kids… the snowball is magic to them. I can’t just throw away the magic snowball. What kind of a mother would I be if I did that? Especially after what I did with the beanie babies.

      • Rebekah

        I threw out the snowball my husband was saving. I’m a meeeeaaan old wife.

      • Megan

        I would have saved it too.

  9. Kristen Kotrlik

    What on earth has gotten into you? I’m terrified to empty out my freezer… I KNOW there’s a chinese take-out container with wedding cake in it… Not preserved or anything…
    And the dog hair… how DOES it get in there? It’s not like I need to preserve it because I’m going to run out… there are wads of tumble fur in my house.
    Great job… you’re an inspiration… and a bitch. Show off.

  10. Deanne

    That looks great!!!

    You know what? I did the same thing when I got my Shaklee from Erin! I went to town! I was supposed to go out with friends that night (a friend of mine and her girlfriend are moving out of state at the end of the month) and Hubby had overnight childcare arranged for the kiddos-es (pronounced kiddo-ziz, just fyi) and he was out with friends. My house was nice and quiet and empty. Just me, the pooch (dude, I’m talkin’ about the dog), the guinea pig and the pet mouse. And my Shaklee. I messed around on the computer for a bit, enjoying my time, then hit the kitchen. I kicked a$$ in there too that weekend. Stove, fridge, freezer, microwave (we’ve had that for probably two or three years and it was a hand-me-down anyhow and I can’t tell you how long it has been since I’ve cleaned it last!) Shaklee is awesome! I killed nearly a 32 oz. bottle of it (mostly on the stove – GROSS!) but it’s all good. I has more! 🙂

  11. Jellyhead

    You ARE fabulous! Tilapia rocks, right up there with kale. More vodka please.

    • Jellyhead

      p.s. That is one fine lookin’ turkey. And by turkey, I mean…turkey.

  12. DebbieW999

    Your posts keep me laughing, mostly because I can relate to so much (hair in the freezer–how does the dog get it in there??!!! lol)!
    Oh, and “dropping the Browns at the Super Bowl” really cracked me up, especially since my husband is from the Cleveland area and is of course, a fan!!!!!

  13. Sue B

    OMG… again you crack me up…. Awesome job on the freezer…. How do those damn dogs & cats get in there & WHY do they want to save their hair? Are they building a nest? ….. Was laughing my head off about the ‘V’ shelf…. but, with reference to earlier posts a different ‘V’ came to mind & was still surprised when I scrolled down to finish reading…. Had never heard of the ‘carpet matching the drapes’ thing until I met my husband and he told his family in reference to ME…. imagine the shock when he THEN told his family ‘nope – no carpet – only linoleum’… Accckkk!!! Gotta love those hairy-ape-men….

    • The Bearded Iris

      NO HE DI-INT! I’m sure your private V-shelf is nothing short of imported Carrara marble. Linoleum? I don’t think so.

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