A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Just the Tip Tuesday: Have Fun with Your Leftovers

Do you like a good underdog story? Then please “like” The Bearded Iris at Babble.com’s list of the Top 50 Mom Blogs.  Three months ago I was ranked at #891. Today I’m #10 (OMG!!!). My readers are THE BEST. Just sayin’.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled blogging…

Last week I was trying a new crock pot recipe for chipotle beef tacos. It wasn’t great; totally not worth sharing, unfortunately. However, I did come up with a great kitchen tip in the process that might be of use to you.

But first, it’s time for another riveting installment of:

Real Conversations, Really Bad Parenting.

Her: “Mom? Why is there cat poop in the freezer? Is Gracie okay?”

Me: “That’s not poop.”

Her: “Looks like poop.”

Me: “It’s not poop. ”


Me: “It. Is. Not. Poop.”

Her:  “Then why does it look like poop?”

Me: “It looks like poop?”

Her: “MOM! Please. You know that totally looks like poop!”

Me: “Does it?”

Her: “MOM!”

Me: “Not my poop. I eat a lot of fiber.”

Her: “Ew. Mom! TMI! It looks like CAT poop. Sick cat poop.”

Me: “Great – you’re hired. Since you are such an expert on cat poop, you can scoop Gracie’s litter box from now on.”

Her: “Ugh. Mom. That’s not fair.”

Me: “SNOT FAIR? Ew! I’m totally not buying a raffle ticket there, I’ll tell you that much.”

Her: “MOM!”

Me: “Honey, will you please hand me one of those cat turds from the freezer? Mama’s making soup.”

Her: “I’m running away.”

Me: “Take your brothers.”

* * * * *

I know what you’re thinking. “Iris wrote about poop. So unlike her!” In my defense, totally not my fault. SHE started it. My kids are so gross. Must get it from their Dad.

This all fits together, by the way. Stay with me. I know it’s a stretch.

The recipe called for 2 tablespoons of pureed chipotle peppers in adobo sauce. I had a can of these, but it was a big can…way more than I needed.

So I pureed the whole can in my blender, scooped out the two tablespoons I needed, put the rest in a quart sized baggie, and was about to chuck it into the freezer for future use.

That’s when it dawned on me, “Wait…how am I going to access two tablespoons (or so) of this stuff the next time I need it if it’s all frozen together in a big clump?”

I thought about spooning it from the baggie into a plastic ice cube tray and freezing individual portions like I used to with fresh baby food, but I’m too lazy to wash ice cube trays after the fact and that oily red adobo sauce stains like a mofo.

That’s when a great big eco-friendly compact fluorescent light bulb appeared over my head.

I know! I’ll just cut the tip off the baggie and squirt individual portions onto freezer paper and freeze the blobs. Once they’re frozen, I’ll store them in a freezer baggie!

So that’s what I did. And it totally worked like a charm.

And I think it’s just an added bonus that the blobs totally look like sick cat poop.

These are the blobs before I froze them. (Anyone humming the Diarrhea Boom Boom song?)

One frozen blob of the chipotle pepper puree.

Bag o' frozen blobs.

By the way, two tablespoons of this stuff is pretty flavorful and spicy. I’m thinking one tablespoon would be plenty of seasoning the next time I make something chipot-licious. I’m pretty sure I can use a sharp knife and cut those frozen pepper puree turds in half though, easy peasy.

Sure hope I don’t find any tapeworms in there when I do.


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.


  1. Kate Takes 5

    Ahaha, love it. Can I rob your ‘I’m running away / Take your brothers’ line for an article I’m writing? Parenting doesn’t get much better than that!

    • The Bearded Iris

      For you? Anything. (Just credit me, bitch.)


  2. mrs.frisbie

    Please YouTube the diarhea boom boom song for me. I’ve never heard of it.

    • mrs.frisbie

      I mean, make your own video of it. You know, a family singalong activity.

      • The Bearded Iris

        My kids would LOVE that! (And so would I!) You’re on, lady! I’ll keep you posted.

    • The Bearded Iris

      WHAAAAT? You don’t know the Diarrhea Boom Boom song?! Oh honey, you are missing OUT. We will fix this, asap!

  3. Allysgrandma

    How can I get so lucky to do my 40 minutes on the treadmill, get off and the second day in a row have another hilarious post waiting for me. It just starts my day out right. Keep it up wouldja sista?

    PS I do that with freezer thing with tomato sauce. And I just threw a solid frozen quart ziplock freezer brick of “hot salsa” that DH made into the garbage last week. He has forgotten about it and is now onto playing with his new barbecue…..

    PSS I also threw away some cooked meat, DH labeled as taco meat or “just eat” with the actual quotations on the ziplock label. HAHA. He does try.

  4. Allysgrandma

    I meant tomato paste. The oxygen is not getting to my brain fast enough. Hey I’m old and on the treadmill what do you expect?

  5. Julie @ mamamash

    So gross! HAHAHA! We love that little red can full of goodness around here. An old egg carton works fine too if you don’t want to mess up an ice tray.

    • The Bearded Iris

      Nice tip! I’mma remember that! But do your blobs look like sick cat turds? Mine do. #winning

  6. Kim at Let Me Start By Saying

    That is so fantastic, I could catpoop I mean chipotlepepperpuree myself.

    • The Bearded Iris

      Awesome! Thanks!

      PS – The Bearded Iris would like to advise that red tinged poop could be a sign of serious medical problems. Unless you’ve been eating lots of beets, you might want to consult a physician (or a veterinarian) if your poop really looks like this.

      • Kim at Let Me Start By Saying

        Very good point, Beardy. Also? I love when you get all Medical Advisory on me. Mmmmm….

  7. Kate

    You are pure awesomeness. I wish my conversations with my kids were funny. Mine just end in, “I will stab you with forks until you bleed. Yeah, I’m kidding. Maybe.”

  8. FiveOGrrl

    multi-cat clumping bitch.

    • The Bearded Iris

      Mmmm-hmmm. Spoken like a lady who knows her cat shit.

  9. Sandra

    Wow! I think that bad parenting convo actually took place in my house. Are we the same person? We are definitely living in parallel universes. Is it warmer where you are though, ’cause then I’d like to move to yours.

  10. Mel

    Chipotle poop=burny.

  11. Crista

    Weeping with mirth!

  12. Maggie

    Congratulations– you are safely in the top 10 now over at Babble!! I’m looking forward to hearing all about the time you shot a man…this one’s gonna be GOOD!!

    • The Bearded Iris

      Oh, the pressure! But I am a woman of my word, so I will tell that tale soon, promise.

      Maggie – thank you again for nominating me for the Babble list. Being on that list is really opening doors for me. You are a Godsend. xoxo – Iris

  13. Kerbi Sexton

    I beg you, do NOT use a sharp knife to cut those frozen turds in half!! Lesson learned the hard way…my hubs & I were making dinner together & there was not enough butter for the baked potatoes & corn on the cob. So I got a stick out of the freezer & thought I’d just chip little bricks off & stuff them inside the baked potato which was painfully hot, & there you go. No. It did not go like that. I used a sharp knife instead of a butter knife & when I pushed the tip down I to the frozen butter, it got stuck. So I pushed harder, using myself as leverage, & it finally chipped off a piece. However, it also snapped the blade of the knife & the for e with which I was exerting downwRd pressure caused the broken tip of the blade to then skip a step & come down right at the base of my forefinger nail. Hurt like a mofo!!! Luckily, it stabbed me where it did. It healed rather quickly & I’ve had no lasting issues, just a scarred ego & bad memory. Gained a valuable life lesson & lost a good knife. Please. Don’t. Do. It.

    • The Bearded Iris

      OMG – Kerbi, that sounds horrendous! I have indeed been cutting those frozen turds with my big sharp knife. I made chili this week and stuck half a turd in, and it was great! So far, no bodily harm. Maybe the consistency of the turds is airier than the frozen butter? Good to know though. Thanks for the warning! Sorry for the loss of your knife…that would break my heart. I have ONE favorite knife that I use for EVERYTHING.

  14. Kris the Colts fan

    Effing hilarious. Everyone in the dr’s office waiting room is staring at me cause I laughed so loud.

  15. Jessiejack

    Thanks for making me laugh so hard I had to change my pants

  16. Bowlin4nuts

    Dammit. You are funny and my fam thinks I am certifiably nuts as I am laughing to myself, sittin in the corner, with 2 cats on my lap. There is nothing better than being able to discuss cat “shit” (which by the way looks too real. My cats don’t poop in nice piles like that. Damn, I’d be happy if they’d just hit the freakin litter box. ). Anyway, just love love love your blogs. Thanks for the laughs Iris! You are one awesome blogging mofo!

    • The Bearded Iris

      Thank you, fellow cat shit aficionado!

  17. Amanda

    OMG!!! The sick cat turds are hilarious!! I’m going to have to buy some chipotles and puree them just so I can have frozen cat turds in my freezer for my boys to find.

© 2022 The Bearded Iris

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑