A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Lost in Translation

What simple hand gesture did I use to offend an entire class of Mexican first grade students and their parents?

What does “fanny” mean to Brits and why do they snigger whenever I reference sticking things into my 80’s-style fanny pack?

Who is having sex with robots and why?

All these naughty questions and much much more will be answered in my weekly column In the Powder Room today. Go there. It’s multicultural.


x  (that’s how the Brits say “kiss”… I hope!)



  1. Rootietoot

    Several years ago, I had a pen-pal friend and her husband from Australia come for a visit (we lived in Auburn Al at the time WAR EAGLE). I learned of the language differences really quick when she was shocked at the way I told my kids “SIT ON YOUR FANNY NOW!” and then my kids giggled nervously when she saw the cat and said “oh a pussy!”

    • The Bearded Iris

      Bwah ha ha ha! She said pussy. DOH!

      Frankly, I’m totally shocked no Brits have ever turned me in to social services at the sound of “I WILL SPANK YOUR FANNY!” I swear I scream that in public at least once every two days. Fine. Hours. Whatevs.

  2. Rootietoot

    When the eldest (now 23) was about 2, we went to a church picnic. At one point the hot dog fell out of his bun and he put his hand on his hip, stared at it, and said loudly “WELL DAMN.” Later on, he was climbing up on one of the picnic tables and I said “Will…” and he sighed and rolled his eyes and said “I know…’get your butt down now’ ”
    I don’t even want to think about how many times I said “do you need a butt whuppin’?” I am proud of myself for not saying ‘ass whuppin’

  3. MikeP

    As a Scot transplanted to Australia after 16 years in Cockney London land mostly embedded in Afro-Caribbean culture (which is why I love the bass and drum Dub, bloodclat. Rastafari!) reading about cultural differences in America I have no idea what’s going on here. Maybe the Powder Room will help.

  4. Angela

    I used to work with a Brit and one time her husband stopped by to ask if she need anything from the store. I almost fell over when this 60-year-old woman asked her hubby to buy her a ‘pack of fags’. Yeah, she meant cigarettes.

    • The Bearded Iris

      WORD. The first time I heard someone say they were going to go “smoke a fag,” I called the Anti Hate Crimes Division. Not cool!

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