A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

A Few Good Vaginas

Timing is everything, or so they say.

Which is why it’s kind of funny that the very day I would “come out of the closet” and confess my real name to the world, The Huffington Post would include my recent conundrum in their “weekly roundup of standout writing from mom and dad blogs everywhere.” 

“This week, we agonized with The Bearded Iris as she decided whether or not to close down her blog.”
~Emma Mustich, The Huffington Post

Holy CRAP on a cracker. She said “we” and “agonized.” As in: more than one person and gave two shits. The Huffington. Freaking. Post. Whaaaaat?

Seriously, you simply HAVE to read it. Go now. I’ll wait.

I mean really. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

I read Emma Mustich’s gripping words to my 12 year old son this morning, and he responded by giving me a celebratory fist bump and a knowing smile that said, “Told you.”


Tulips at Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, University of Dayton

Hey, you know what would make this scenario even better? 

How about a follow-up post titled A Few Good Vaginas.

I know the irony is not lost on you, which is awesome.

You see, I have to write my weekly column for In The Powder Room about 8 days in advance so that my brilliant British editors (Gigi & Paula) have plenty of time to hem and haw about what kind of crazy-ass new American words I’ve invented. Then they have to choose a photograph to complement the piece and if Gigi can’t find one that’s just right (like that breathtaking sausage picture featured the day I shared my birth story), then Paula has to make one of her own with her fierce computer skills.

Honest to Pete, when I saw the picture Paula made for this week, I snarfed a Peppermint Pattie and attempted to give myself the Heimlich on the back of my chair, which just so happens to be on wheels, so I think you know where I’m going with this…right. down. the. hallway. Not pleasant. Peppermint irritates the trachea, people.

My point is… a lot can happen in a week. Let’s all remember that the next time we find ourselves in shitsville. If we can hang on long enough, this too shall pass. 

Thanks for being here with me. And here. Your friend,



  1. Megan at declutterdaily

    Huffinton Freaking Post!!!! WOOT!

  2. Paula

    Always a pleasure – the ‘V’ of your disguise has never been wasted on me….. was just lookee looking for the perfect opportunity. Love that the Huff picked you up btw. Couldn’t have happened to a funnier gal x

  3. Allyson

    Hello..I just found your blog today via a retweet on Twitter. Very glad I did. Looking forward to a lot of laughs from someone that really seems to get “it”..whatever “it” is.

  4. Lisha

    Huffington. Freaking. Post. Indeed!! Go Leslie, or Iris, or whatever your name is!

  5. Kristy

    I can now say…

    I. KNOW. A. CELEBRITY!!!!!!!!!! You better autograph a picture for me at Haven!! 😉

    Congratulations m’dear!!!

  6. Rootietoot

    Wow! congratulations on getting noticed! as if you weren’t already, but you know what I mean (I hope)

  7. JD @ Honest Mom

    Huff Po, baby. Huff. Freakin’. Po.
    Rock on with your bad self, Iris.
    Er, Leslie.

  8. KeAnne

    Couldn’t happen to a better blogger 🙂

  9. Martha

    Awesome!! You rock as always 🙂

  10. Susie

    *snorts water out of nose while teething infant looks on in shock* rolling chair heimlich! Awesome! Gonna go read the HuffPost article once I clean up the baby…

  11. Jester Queen

    Oh shit. I. Want. To. Write. For. Them.

    The article rocked – I liked it enormously, agreed with every word, and wanted to glitter bomb CVS’s feminine hygeine aisle while I was reading. (I’m something of a jungle Mom). And I wanted to write for them too. Do you know if Paula and Gigi are considering applications?

    • The Bearded Iris

      Thanks, Jester Queen! No I do not know, but the best way to find out would probably be to message one of them through Facebook. In The Powder Room has a page: https://www.facebook.com/InthePowderRoom.PRGMedia

      Love the idea of glitter bombing a feminine hygiene aisle! Hahaha!

  12. Joan

    Personally, I think God rewards bravery…quickly in this case. Congrats! You deserve it.

    (And, hey, we ALL got mentioned in Huffington Post. They did mention your commenters, too.)

  13. Elena

    Remember the little people 🙂

  14. julie gardner

    Congratulations on ALLLLLL of it.

    Also, for the record, I have a good vagina.
    Just the one, though.


  15. Ado

    You’re too big for me, girlfriend. I’ll say I knew you when. CONGA-RATS!!! Really!

  16. Skinny Jean Colleen

    Glad you decided to stay. The Huffington Post is just further proof of how much we all love you, your writing and your honesty. Keep up the good work!

  17. Anne @ Domesblissity

    Well, that just goes to show you how much attention I pay to reading the Huffington Post. I read that article but didn’t even realise they used your ‘real’ name. I honestly thought Iris WAS your real name. You really look like an Iris, Iris, oh I mean Leslie! I CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! LOL

    You’re so deserving of all your fame Iris.

    Anne xx

  18. Bernie Bickers

    So when is Arianna coming over for dinner?

    I must admit, as proud I am of how you’ve handled this, I’m I bit sad that you’ve been outed – I felt like I was one of a few in on a cool secret! Oh well, I still know about the other thing…

  19. oneshabbychick

    WOW. This is getting out of hand, lady! Hi there, Iris/Leslie, I have been lurking along (should’ve given you my two thumbs up before) but I was totally blown away and delighted by your last out-of-the-closet post {Awe-some! (sung in a sing-songy opera voice)}. You blew me away with your awesomeness… and now this! SOOO excited for you. So much great stuff has happened since this blew up your blog world. Just wanted you to know you’ve got my xo and admiration!!!
    P.S. You look *gorgeous* in those conference pics! Thought you’d like to know 😉
    P.P.S. Keep on keepin’ on, mama! xo

  20. Abbie

    Ok, so after I found your “Helicopter Parent” video you did with you kids I was just left disappointed in my own kids. I’m having a “are my own kids worthy of me” day. I (think) I am funny. I want to make videos with my kids. My kids would never let me spit in their mouths!!!! My kids don’t love me enough to let me lick food before they eat it. The Bearded (debearded?) Irises kids love her more than mine love me. Please tell me you promised them a trip somewhere or just gave them a mound of cash. You are da bomb and those kids…Yep, you should of stayed incognito. I know your name now and one day your going to find my three boys where your kids used to sleep. Have your fun now all “baby bird bubble wrapping” fun because mine are eye rollers.
    Love it and congrats! What an amazing ride your on.

  21. Brook Thurman

    Iris! I found your blog about 2 months ago when I was swamped at work and feeling very overwhelmed and underpaid. Thanks to God I found you! I laughed out loud and smiled when I thought of things you ‘said’. I ran to tell all my friends. I am hooked, so super glad you are staying around to keep us all smiling. Congrats on the Huff Post!

  22. Heather

    You rock, toots. You really do. That’s all 🙂

  23. Missy @ Wonder, Friend

    Huffington Post! Awesome.

  24. Angela Shelton

    I did as you said, I went, I read, I huffed, I laughed and I say keep writing!

  25. Suniverse

    You. Make. My. Heart. Sing.


    SO MUCH.

    You AND your vagina.

  26. Kristin @ What She Said

    “This too shall pass,” is one of my all-time favorite quotes. And I love the spin you put on it here. More than once I’ve reflected on just how much can happen in a week.

    BTW, my blog misses your face. As if it’s not enough that you’ve gone and switched identities on us, now you’ve abandoned us, too?

    (Although I can’t say my most recent post is all that much fun to read. Informative? Yes. Fun? Not so much.)

  27. Alexandra

    Oh, killer closer: and what a life lesson.

    If we can just hand on long enough…

    How MANY people need to hear this.


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