A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

When Facebookers Attack

We’ve all seen it a million times by now: people who hide behind the veil of technology and fire off nasty, rude, or judgmental comments via social media.

But there is something about Facebook in particular that seems to bring out the worst in some people.

I hearby christen them: Facebitches.



Yes, with the Back-to-School season upon us, I’ve been noticing an upsurge in mom-on-mom digital aggression. Apparently The Mommy Wars are alive and well on Facebook.

If your replies or comments on other people’s Facebook posts sound like any of the following, you might be a Facebitch:

The Mother Superior. “That’s why I chose to homeschool/private school/public school, so my children won’t ever have to endure trauma like that.” How nice for you.

The Debbie Downer. “I’m sorry to hear about your child’s problems at school. My cousin had that . . . right before he took all those semi-automatic weapons up into that clock tower.” Thanks. I feel so much better now.

The Darwin Award Winner. “Thats not real. Them squirrels r totally photo-shopped into that toilet.” OMG, really? Like, duh. What gave it away? The Xs on the eyes?

The Turd in the Punchbowl. “That’s the least of your worries. The amount of hormones your children are ingesting through the water supply has already shortened their life span by decades.” Not helping. Shut the fuck up.

The Cat Lady. “This is what’s wrong with kids today. If I had kids, I’d . . . ” Bitch please. Try mothering a human child before you judge my parenting skills. Walk away before I kick you in the vagina.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Maybe it’s the act of communicating with typing fingers and thumbs instead of mouths and faces that creates this disconnect of civility, common sense, and respect.

Maybe this behavior stems from the fact that there is rarely any real consequence to leaving a rude comment on a public figure’s Facebook post.

Read Me In the Powder Room!

Whatever the reason, I’m sick of it, and I’m In The Powder Room today giving some of these Facebitches a piece of my mind. Come on over and let’s show them how it’s done.



  1. Lady Estrogen

    I’m coming over to ITPR… with my bitchfork…

    • The Bearded Iris

      BITCHFORK! Bwahaha! Love it, Lady E!

    • Lib

      BITCHFORK!! Love it. It’s my new band name!

    • JD @ Honest Mom

      LOVE IT!

  2. Ellen at Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

    Dang, I thought this was pretty good. Can’t wait to see what is over at ITPR. Ellen

  3. Lesley

    I know all of these women and am forwarding this blog post to them. Although that act, in itself, will make me a total passive aggressive e-bitch. Worth it!

  4. Farrah

    Oy. I did just run into the ‘Well, MY kids don’t go to school and we enjoy family time together- because WE like to do fun stuff as a FAMILY’. Wtf. Way to slam me for taking my kid to pre school.

  5. Brett Minor (@brettminor)

    It’s not just women, these inconsiderate idiots are everywhere and willing to chime in on any topic.

    • The Bearded Iris


      I hate to sound sexist, but statistically speaking, the majority of my interactions on FB are with other mothers. Specifically, my “reach” on FB is 83% female, the majority of whom are between the ages of 35-44.

      Also, all the commenters I take on in my post at In The Powder Room today are women. Plus, Facebitch has a nice ring to it as a play on the word Facebook. So there you have it. But yes, men can be rude idiots on (and off) Facebook too. Absolutely! Thanks for the comment Brett.

  6. Kristin @ What She Said

    I literally can’t wait to read this.

  7. Christine

    Haha! I am the Turd in the Punchbowl! But I thought everyone wanted to know where “raspberry flavoring” comes from…….at least these are my posts on my wall, not commenting on others 😀

  8. Kristen

    If I had kids… I would let you babysit them. Yours seem like good ones.

  9. MelissaP

    The Cat Lady. ugh. I have a really close friend who is this, and I HATE it. Her passive-aggressive sanctimonious comments about how SHE would do things really rub me the wrong way! Because, guess what?? That’s exactly how I said I would do things back before I had kids (though I didn’t criticize other people openly – just had my own naive idealistic thoughts) – actually being a parent is MUCH, MUCH different than just IMAGINING being a parent. If you do not have kids, your opinion on the matter does not count. Period. But when I tell her this, she guilt-trips me about how not everyone is ABLE to have kids… ~sigh~

  10. Allison @ Motherhood, WTF?

    Can you please patrol my FB page? I have a few of all of these. Especially the Mother Superior types.

  11. Elisa Edgington

    I think the “cat-lady” is my favorite, and am glad to know that I am not the only one that thinks about kicking horrible women right in the baby-maker. Thank you ma’am, you have made my Monday morning!

  12. Lisa Hewitt

    Let that steaming pile just lay there.

  13. Catherine

    Ahahahahaha! ‘Walk away before I kick you in the vagina…” I’ve gotta stop reading this stuff at work. Lunchtime or not, it’s weird when the teacher is laughing her head of at her desk… Oh crap, I double-spaced at the end of the sentences. Hard habit to break 😉
    Love you, Leslie!

  14. maybaby

    Thank you for bringing this up, I am sooooo tired of people who feel free to let loose with crap they would never dare say face to face (I almost typed fact to fact, which kinda works too…) Facebitches and Bitchfork will now be part of my everyday language, thankyouverymuch!

  15. JD @ Honest Mom

    This is pretty much why I have stopped updating my personal FB page. That and a couple of seriously wacked-out family members!

    • Crystal


  16. Suniverse

    I think I’m less of a Facebitch and more of just a Bitch. Hmmm.

  17. Lily from It's A Dome Life

    I’ve been avoiding Facebook because my cousin posts a political something every 30 seconds and I couldn’t take it anymore. The only added bonus is I’ve missed out on some of the Facebook cranks.

    I’m totally going to start threatening to kick people in the vaginas from now on.

  18. Becky

    Love this post. I get pretty stabby about haters on facebook too. Usually, I just unfriend them after a while. It’s just better for everyone.

  19. Devan

    I call it e-balls, or if you are on an apple device iBalls. 🙂 Kids are telling eachother they love eachother on facebook at 14 years old….much easier to type than actually SAY. Especially when you only have to type ILY or whatever….

  20. tracy@sellabitmum

    Seriously I can be such a cat lady…off to read! xo

  21. Sarcasm Goddess

    Bahaha! Love it! I find myself wanting to unfriend people on facebook so I can maintain my friendship with them in real life…although now that I think about it, might not be a bad idea to cut them out entirely. Facebitches be gone!

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