A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

My Top 5 Most Popular Posts of 2012

Good God it’s cold.

I need a laugh. How about you?

But I’m busy waxing cabinets today (not a euphemism) and thought it would be fun to look back on my most popular posts of last year.

Top 5 Popular Posts at The Bearded Iris in 2012


According to page views, here are My Top 5 Most Popular Posts of 2012:

ermahgerd blogher12 guidebook5.) ERMAHGERD: The Preparing for BlogHer’12 Edition

This post was written a few days before I flew my freak flag all over New York City for the BlogHer ’12 conference. Getting ready for a conference that big brings out the cray-cray in everyone, so it is no surprise that so many people stopped by to see me raising the bar on what to wear and how to behave. The comments are even more fun than the post…particularly because The Bloggess herself stopped by to say hello. Schwing!


Aw nuts button4.) Aw, nuts. Or, how puppies and testicles are related. 

Have a seat boys and girls and let me tell you the story of my sweet little Bucket Head and how he discovered his nutsack.  Actually, I’m surprised this one isn’t higher on the list because I honestly think it is the funniest thing I’ve ever written. If you are new here, this is THE ONE. Please check it out and let me know if you think it’s as funny as I do!


iris hospital2-13.) I put the FREAK in freak accidents

Not all freak accidents are funny, or have a happy ending, but I seem to have a knack for inflicting really stupid injuries on myself, and according to the comments on this post, SO DO YOU! Oh-em-gee, you guys are even klutzier than I am, and I adore you for it! Solidarity, yo!


pissed2.) I might have to change grocery stores after this.

If you have ever experienced the frustration of shopping with a four-year-old, well-meaning strangers who interfere with your parenting, or the soul-crushing disappointment of bait-and-switch gum ball machines, this is the post for you. If you are a humorless troll, this is also the post for you. Frankly, it’s not my best work, but it really raked in the page views because of the train wreck factor of the comment thread. Read the comments and marvel at the awesomeness of the parenting blog community who came to my defense against a few trolling a-holes.


Elf on the Shelf Dobbie on the crapper by The Bearded Iris1.) The Return of Dobbie, The Inappropriate Elf on the Shelf

Yes, Dobbie returned, and he was more ornery than ever. In fact he was so popular this year that I found several different citizens of Facebook cropping off my watermarks and claiming my inappropriate elfing as their own work. (Douche-waffles.) Sadly, Dobbie was not crowned one of Baby Rabies’ Top 11 Inappropriate Elves this year because the competition was just too stiff and I did not do a very good job asking for votes. Oh well, in my heart Dobbie will always be a winner.

Thank you for being here with me. You are the lead in my #2 pencil.

(Heh heh heh, I said #2.)



  1. Amy

    Damn, girl, you know how to solicit a vote. You’ve got mine.

    • The Bearded Iris

      Really? Just like that? I didn’t even have to hump your leg or honk your boob? Day-yam, you’re easy. I like that about you! Thank you Amy!

  2. Lyn Clements

    done and done.!!!!!!

    • The Bearded Iris

      Now just rinse, and repeat! 🙂 Thanks Lyn. XO

  3. Lisa Hewitt

    I have not yet reached the 24 hour period, but I will, every day. Wax on Wax off.

    • The Bearded Iris

      You are a gem, Lisa. I am so grateful for your loyalty and support, darlin’.

  4. Snappy

    I voted for you!

    • The Bearded Iris

      Thanks, sugar! I appreciate it so much.

  5. lisa thomson

    I think I read all of those top posts and LOL’d. The one that’s missing is the lady parts hair removal…still makes me laugh. I’m definitely putting my vote in for ya!

  6. Dominique Rose

    I seriously pink-puff-heart you! Voted. Voting tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And…well you get it.

    • The Bearded Iris

      Dominique! Thank you so much, sister. The competition is stiffer than my chin hairs this year…I am going to need every single one of those votes! XO

  7. Roshni

    This is great! I’m a new reader so I actually haven’t read these precious gems!! 😀
    And, I voted for you…..even.before.you.asked!!!!! There’s got to be some kind of prize for that, right?!!

    • Roshni

      I noted that you closed comments for the rubber duckie post! I must say I was pretty entertained by the post, but more so by the comments! 😀

    • The Bearded Iris

      Thank you so much Roshni! I really appreciate the votes! And no, no prizes, other than my undying affection, or I’ll be booted from the competition faster than Lance Armstrong in a bicycle race. XO

      • Roshni

        LOL! I was just kidding! Hope you are chosen in the final round!

  8. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

    Okay. THIS is the post where THIS comment belongs: Is this the same bathroom renovation that you were working on last year? Because if it is, you are my hero. Are you using the chalk paint??? I have to know how it is. I want to paint my kitchen cabinets, but when I started counting the doors, I got a nosebleed. Ellen

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