A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Welcome to Camp Mom!

It’s the last day of school for my kids, and I’m already crying.

No, no…not just because I’m completely unprepared for summer.

Mini-Me and her teacher

Mini-Me getting loved on by her 4th grade teacher yesterday…while Mrs. J. strategically avoids eye contact with me, per the terms of her restraining order.

I’m crying because my two elementary school-aged kids are sad to say goodbye to their beloved teachers and friends today, and when they are sad, I am sad. 

Seems like just yesterday my little Bucket Head was getting on the school bus for the first time.

And it didn’t take long for Mini-Me’s teacher to figure out that I was not operating on all six cylinders. Ah, memories.

Where does the time go?!

Aaaaand, there I go. Getting all sad and nostalgic again. Oy. Hormones. When in doubt, always blame the hormones. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Hey, it’s also my anniversary today, which is a sweet way to end the school year. Sixteen years. Yowza. Feels like sooooo much longer. (Just kidding, Honey…kinda.) We’re going to simultaneously celebrate our marriage and our last day of school-year-freedom by having lunch at our favorite Italian restaurant. Then we’re going to fill up a bunch of water balloons so we can ambush the kids when they get off the school bus and help them forget how sad they are to end the school year. Wish me luck on that one…hopefully it doesn’t backfire and make them even more sad that their parents are such insensitive dicks. (Tune in on Instagram later for an update!)

Read Me In the Powder Room!

But in the meantime, I’ve been brainstorming about some of the things we can do this summer to maintain a modicum of sanity and have a little fun. Spoiler alert: bathroom humor and manual labor! It’s over In The Powder Room today. Join me, won’t you?

Here’s to a great summer!


  1. Heather

    Wow… I can’t believe I have been reading your blog long enough to celebrate TWO anniversaries with you! Normally my adult A-D-D prevents me from focusing for that long… SQUIRREL!!!!! Happy Anniversary to you and the Gate Keeper and hope you have a fantastic summer of fun!

  2. Allysgrandma

    Happy anniversary! The 42nd anniversary of our first kiss was May 21st!!

  3. Danielle

    Okay the water balloon idea is GENIUS! And thanks for the link to your previous anniversary post. I hadn’t read that one before (or the one with Mr. Gatekeeper’s response) and it made me all misty-eyed and loopy butterfly happy about my own wonderful hubby and marriage. Thank you for all your amazing posts – one moment I’m crying and the next laughing out loud. You are a wonderful writer. Ssshhh…don’t tell the other bloggers but you’re my favorite. Happy Anniversary!

  4. Teri

    We’ve got 2 weeks left. I’m nowhere near prepared. Guess I’ll just wing it. Happy Anniversary!!!!

  5. Famous SpokesGoat Pricilla

    Happy Anniversary. I can send you a goat kid as a gift

  6. Dyanne @ I Want Backsies

    I have one kiddo heading to high school this fall and one to college. They are both SO EXCITED to move on that I couldn’t feel sad about it at all and neither could they.

    Happy anniversary! Happy summer!

  7. L. Hewitt

    Happy Anniversary! and yes Water Balloons!

  8. Anne @GenFabulous

    Congratulations on the anniversary! We are coming up on 16 years, as well. I believe the traditional gift is a marital aid.

  9. julie gardner

    When I was a kid, I cried on the last day of school every year because I didn’t want to leave my teacher.

    Then when I was a teacher, I cried on the last day of school every year because I didn’t want to lose my students.

    In retrospect, I may be a tiny bit sensitive and emotional.


    • julie gardner

      P.S. I think you should work in some “water-balloon action” after the Italian restaurant, too. Happy Anniversary, lady. We’re 16 years in, too. Seems like just yesterday. And also forever ago.

  10. whencrazymeetsexhaustion

    Water balloon ambush?!! I’m tucking that one away for future ice breakers. You’re awesome.

  11. Menopausal Mother

    Water balloons–brilliant. But my son would throw them back at me, so…..

  12. Roshni

    Happy anniversary! Sophisticated restaurant and then equally sophisticated balloon ambush sounds awesome!!

© 2022 The Bearded Iris

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑