A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Tag: men vs. women

I’ll have what he’s having.

I’m over In The Powder Room today sharing my counterpoint to my colleague Glen’s brilliant post about internal dialogue and what men see when they look in the mirror.

mirror mirror: Glen and Iris discuss In The Powder Room


Come on over and join in the conversation! I’ll save you a seat.

But see you back here tomorrow, m’kay? I could use some advice about a real humdinger of a sticky situation.


How to Communicate with Your Special Someone

A good friend recently forwarded me this handy communication guide, suggesting I print it out and place it in my husband’s wallet:





What’s for dinner?

May I help you with dinner?

Where would you like to go for dinner?

Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that?

You sure look good in brown!

WOW! Look at you!

Here, have some wine.

What are you so worked up about?

Could we be overreacting?

Here’s my paycheck.

Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that?

You know, there are a lot of apples left.

May I get you
a piece of chocolate with that?

Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day?

I hope you didn’t over-do it today.

I’ve always loved you in that robe!

Here, have some wine.

Come on. It’s funny, because it’s true… which inspired me to make today’s Just the Tip Tuesday post all about communicating with your special someone.

The Gatekeeper (my husband) and I have a challenging time communicating now and then. Oh, who am I kidding… all the time. He thinks it’s just a man vs. woman thing. That’s part of it, sure. Men and women are definitely wired differently. Maybe if I included words like “bacon” and “blow job” in more sentences, he’d listen better. And he’d definitely have my undivided attention if he poured me a glass of wine and gave me a foot massage. No lie.

If you ask me, I think our failure to communicate is often a byproduct of our fast-paced, high-tech world. Too many distractions, information overload, and connecting through Tweets and texts are the makings of a piss-poor-communication-sandwich.

Maybe it’s a timing issue too. He loves to talk to me while I’m writing. And I seem to always have something important to tell him the minute he picks up his Crackberry. These conversations never end well. Two days later someone is always lamenting, “But I TOLD you I needed to leave at 5:15!”  or “We talked about this…I need those shirts for my business trip tomorrow.” Oh sure… you may have TOLD me, but was I actually listening? Apparently not. Here’s a rule of thumb in my house: if the fingers are moving, the ears aren’t working.

Recently, I’ve discovered that The Gatekeeper and I have our best talks when we go for walks together (without the kids). No technology, no distractions, just fresh air and exercise. There is probably some scientific reason why walking and talking go so well together. I don’t know why it works, I just know that it does.

Try it. It’s good for your health AND your relationship.

But if that isn’t an option, try one of these adorable talking plastic animals by Camilla Fabbri at Family Chic.

Seriously. How cute is that?! I’m pretty sure she designed this idea to communicate with her kids in a fun, fresh way; but I think you could use well-placed talking plastic animals to communicate effectively with anyone!

Instead of nagging your honey for the nth time about their incessant late night snacking, maybe a cute little plastic piggy placed on the pantry shelf holding a card that says “I love you. Now drop the Cheez-Its so you can lose 15 lbs. and grow old with me.” Just a thought.

Or instead of having to verbally reject your hunka-hunka-burnin’-love when they want a little sumpin’ sumpin’ and you’re curled up on the couch in your L.L.Bean flannel nightie with the heating pad and a bottle of Midol, why not strategically position a little pink pony holding a note that says “IOU”? It’s honest, caring, and direct – three tenets of good communication!

In summary, communicating effectively is an important part of any relationship. Show your special someone you care by stepping away from the keyboard, taking a walk together, utilizing small plastic animals in your home, and/or avoiding difficult conversations via strategically poured glasses of wine.

I’m here to help.


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