So I arrive at the Vacation Bible School planning session the other day, pick up my handouts, and sit down with my two VBS buddies Terri and Kathy. We chit chat for a little while and then I start leafing through the three page legal sized spreadsheet that the VBS leader has put together with all the volunteers’ names and info.

And then I notice this across from my name:






{Sweaty pits.}

Wait, let me explain!

This was in the column labeled “Requests.”

And I did actually request that. Guilty as charged.

Sadly, I guess I didn’t understand the question.

Like when Bob Eubanks asked that couple on The Newlywed Game “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever made whoopee?” and the man said, “That would be in the butt, Bob.”

Naturally, I’m the ONLY mom who made this mistake, because all the other “requests” were for specific BFF co-teacher assignments. “Please put me with Amy Rogers! 🙂 ”

Holy shame, Batman!

But I had NO IDEA it would end up on a public document and out of context like this!

When I entered those words in the request line of the VBS application, what I meant was simply that I thought my kids would have more fun if they had a teacher other than me. I’ve been Mini-Me’s catechist for the past 2 years, and before that I did the same thing for Nature Boy. And let me tell you something, it’s been no picnic, for any of us. I know how great my kids are, so I demand a lot from them and I think I have been harder on them than an unbiased, impartial teacher would have been. So, I did it for the kids! Really!!

But if you didn’t know that, and you saw “Do Not Put with her kids” across from my name, what would you think?

Yeah. Me too.

And now there are about 62 very nice church going moms who think the same thing about me. Just my luck. Good thing most of them don’t know about this blog, eh? Or they’d really have something to talk about!

My friends Terri and Kathy and I had a good laugh about it during the planning session. But on the inside, I was sitting there thinking, “Geez, Iris. You sure know how to make a good impression. Way to go, shit-heel.”

And then Terri talked me into volunteering with her for the very important VBS role of Bible Study Teacher, so now I will get to work with EVERYONE’S children, EVERY DAY, for a WHOLE WEEK.

Now who gets the last laugh?

yours in Christ,


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.